








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 693 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Ancient | 281 matches | ||
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3414 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,702 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3863 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3695 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2932 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3212 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $662,913 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 483 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naja | 48% | 31 |
| #2 | FESTPRZ | 45% | 22 |
| #3 | 𝕝𝕖𝕖𝕜 | 43% | 23 |
| #4 | skammen | 42% | 66 |
| #5 | aggemand | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naja | 48% | 31 |
| #2 | FESTPRZ | 45% | 22 |
| #3 | 𝕝𝕖𝕖𝕜 | 43% | 23 |
| #4 | skammen | 42% | 66 |
| #5 | aggemand | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skammen | 399 | 0.28 | 11 min |
| #2 | 𝕝𝕖𝕖𝕜 | 163 | 0.32 | 4 min |
| #3 | FESTPRZ | 74 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | aggemand | 71 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | naja | 32 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naja | +3.21 | 86 | 66 |
| #2 | aggemand | +1.80 | 82 | 71 |
| #3 | Doktore | +1.56 | 71 | 67 |
| #4 | FESTPRZ | +0.76 | 60 | 74 |
| #5 | skammen | +0.25 | 82 | 72 |





