








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 168 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2696 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,990 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1913 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1371 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1389 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1317 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $755,499 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 77 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pek$i | 68% | 88 |
| #2 | azgah | 67% | 21 |
| #3 | Varpe | 67% | 21 |
| #4 | El_Jutku | 67% | 21 |
| #5 | SamppA | 67% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Niksu | 63% | 48 |
| #9 | ˢʰᵒᵒᵈⁱ | 61% | 94 |
| #10 | jöpsykkä | 60% | 48 |
| #11 | willey- | 56% | 54 |
| #12 | WizeR | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SamppA | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | ˢʰᵒᵒᵈⁱ | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | SUS1 | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | jöpsykkä | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | hynppi | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ˢʰᵒᵒᵈⁱ | 344 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #2 | SUS1 | 261 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #3 | pek$i | 222 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | hynppi | 208 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | jöpsykkä | 197 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jöpsykkä | +2.36 | 92 | 77 |
| #2 | pek$i | +2.35 | 74 | 70 |
| #3 | ARMADA8D | +1.69 | 90 | 59 |
| #4 | Niksu | +1.21 | 76 | 67 |
| #5 | ˢʰᵒᵒᵈⁱ | +1.09 | 76 | 73 |





