








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1002 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,503 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1711 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2121 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1151 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1520 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $235,602 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ARMADA8D | 65% | 55 |
| #2 | pek$i | 61% | 92 |
| #3 | SamppA | 59% | 99 |
| #4 | ˢʰᵒᵒᵈⁱ | 57% | 80 |
| #5 | sare | 50% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ARMADA8D | 65% | 55 |
| #2 | pek$i | 61% | 92 |
| #3 | SamppA | 59% | 99 |
| #4 | ˢʰᵒᵒᵈⁱ | 57% | 80 |
| #5 | sare | 50% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SamppA | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | ˢʰᵒᵒᵈⁱ | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | pek$i | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ˢʰᵒᵒᵈⁱ | 310 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | SamppA | 247 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | pek$i | 234 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | sare | 104 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | ARMADA8D | 102 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pek$i | +2.34 | 75 | 87 |
| #2 | ˢʰᵒᵒᵈⁱ | +1.93 | 76 | 73 |
| #3 | ARMADA8D | +1.09 | 87 | 62 |
| #4 | hynppi | -0.44 | 66 | 79 |
| #5 | SamppA | -0.74 | 56 | 65 |





