








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1232 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 171 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5842 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,125 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8025 | 32% |
| Smokes | 7095 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4713 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 5292 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $520,998 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 129 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mrs.Jellonas | 70% | 43 |
| #2 | Nameless|100teq | 60% | 55 |
| #3 | Kurmu | 60% | 60 |
| #4 | Burden | 59% | 152 |
| #5 | Lil Duku√ | 57% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KoNo ☕ | 9 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Kush it to the limit' | 4 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | zesmari | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Nameless|100teq | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | ZLP | 3 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Burden | 567 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #2 | KoNo ☕ | 430 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #3 | ZLP | 158 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | criti | 137 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | Nameless|100teq | 131 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KoNo ☕ | +1.68 | 76 | 72 |
| #2 | Burden | +1.54 | 68 | 72 |
| #3 | Nameless|100teq | +1.28 | 86 | 69 |
| #4 | HooD<3 | +1.20 | 73 | 75 |
| #5 | Kush it to the limit' | +1.17 | 60 | 65 |





