








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 128 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
795 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,289 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 892 | 27% |
| Smokes | 769 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 697 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 931 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $243,437 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andi | 93% | 15 |
| #2 | REIJJO | 89% | 9 |
| #3 | Kinuzki | 80% | 5 |
| #4 | Orkkis | 73% | 15 |
| #5 | S4lmi | 69% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | KoNo ☕ | 62% | 61 |
| #8 | Burden | 62% | 66 |
| #9 | HooD<3 | 60% | 55 |
| #10 | Kurmu | 59% | 27 |
| #11 | ZLP | 54% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KoNo ☕ | 7 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Burden | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | HooD<3 | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Andi | 1 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | S4lmi | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HooD<3 | 331 | 0.28 | 9 min |
| #2 | KoNo ☕ | 244 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | Burden | 225 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | REIJJO | 43 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #5 | S4lmi | 42 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nameless|100teq | +2.06 | 85 | 68 |
| #2 | KoNo ☕ | +2.06 | 75 | 70 |
| #3 | Burden | +1.71 | 73 | 74 |
| #4 | Kurmu | +0.37 | 68 | 67 |
| #5 | S4lmi | +0.32 | 52 | 73 |





