








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 19 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1027 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,486 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1212 | 35% |
| Smokes | 794 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 616 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 864 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $344,786 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YUNG FLASHBANG | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Dilian | 60% | 95 |
| #3 | Royal | 58% | 60 |
| #4 | Mahaugher | 58% | 95 |
| #5 | Totan | 55% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Mahaugher | 58% | 95 |
| #5 | Totan | 55% | 11 |
| #6 | Boopington | 54% | 71 |
| #7 | E-van | 53% | 58 |
| #8 | Lui𐂃𐂃𐂃𐂃𐂃𐂃𐂃𐂃𐂃 | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dilian | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Boopington | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Royal | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | YUNG FLASHBANG | 2 | 0.0171 |
| #5 | E-van | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mahaugher | 358 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #2 | Boopington | 351 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #3 | Dilian | 238 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | E-van | 110 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Royal | 78 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mahaugher | +2.63 | 82 | 73 |
| #2 | Dilian | +1.66 | 75 | 64 |
| #3 | E-van | +0.92 | 74 | 47 |
| #4 | Wlzard | +0.21 | 78 | 66 |
| #5 | YUNG FLASHBANG | -1.10 | 58 | 64 |





