








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 551 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 195 matches | ||
| Faceit | 126 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3134 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,892 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2354 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3111 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4212 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2215 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,182,824 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 94 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wity | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | Hansooolo | 58% | 48 |
| #3 | Elzi87 | 56% | 124 |
| #4 | Pasanen | 51% | 125 |
| #5 | nahkisssss | 49% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Hansooolo | 58% | 48 |
| #3 | Elzi87 | 56% | 124 |
| #4 | Pasanen | 51% | 125 |
| #5 | nahkisssss | 49% | 91 |
| #6 | Vegeh | 45% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pasanen | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | Elzi87 | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | nahkisssss | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Hansooolo | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Wity | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nahkisssss | 338 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #2 | Elzi87 | 151 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Hansooolo | 131 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Vegeh | 116 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Pasanen | 92 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hansooolo | +2.80 | 73 | 66 |
| #2 | Vegeh | +1.43 | 70 | 73 |
| #3 | Wity | +0.92 | 63 | 68 |
| #4 | The mighty boar | +0.66 | 60 | 62 |
| #5 | nahkisssss | +0.54 | 50 | 64 |





