








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 156 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1651 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,750 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1483 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2107 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1742 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1418 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $585,842 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Elzi87 | 49% | 43 |
| #7 | Pasanen | 45% | 62 |
| #8 | The mighty boar | 45% | 38 |
| #9 | Avancer | 44% | 25 |
| #10 | Hansooolo | 40% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pasanen | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Hansooolo | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | nahkisssss | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | The mighty boar | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Avancer | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nahkisssss | 296 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | Hansooolo | 130 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | RiksX | 96 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #4 | The mighty boar | 65 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Pasanen | 57 | 0.04 | 2 min |





