








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 229 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 66 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
993 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,761 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1137 | 30% |
| Smokes | 901 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 992 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 731 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $184,945 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Barney | 90% | 10 |
| #2 | Zhaisy | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | :0 | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | Nidas | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | Arwty | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | garug | +6.22 | 82 | 53 |
| #2 | Zhaisy | +3.41 | 74 | 63 |
| #3 | 10 Years in the Joint | +0.98 | 54 | 71 |
| #4 | Glock in my Rari | +0.23 | 24 | 77 |
| #5 | Barney | -0.26 | 50 | 74 |





