








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 348 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 262 matches | ||
| Faceit | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5947 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,897 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6443 | 36% |
| Smokes | 4354 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3436 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3664 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,320,773 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 256 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | redtext | 77% | 81 |
| #2 | ツ Scout ツ | 73% | 49 |
| #3 | gDP | 64% | 28 |
| #4 | zoloftmeister | 61% | 31 |
| #5 | Lugia | 59% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cyu | 13 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Shanks | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Lugia | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | canela | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | 🅢🅜🅐🅚 | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bloo | 330 | 0.47 | 10 min |
| #2 | redtext | 313 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #3 | 🅢🅜🅐🅚 | 229 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | gabE | 207 | 0.33 | 6 min |
| #5 | ツ Scout ツ | 184 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | redtext | +4.20 | 80 | 68 |
| #2 | ツ Scout ツ | +2.68 | 89 | 59 |
| #3 | zoloftmeister | +2.23 | 93 | 53 |
| #4 | Shenzie_db | +1.83 | 80 | 62 |
| #5 | gDP | +1.44 | 79 | 61 |





