








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 579 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Renown | 76 matches | ||
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3316 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,353 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2407 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2680 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3191 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2075 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $857,264 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 256 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ethan | 81% | 16 |
| #2 | Dracul4 | 81% | 26 |
| #3 | prey | 67% | 21 |
| #4 | Dzy | 65% | 20 |
| #5 | peterS aka NYC | 64% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | u9v | 15 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | violence. | 14 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | waDDy | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | vision | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | peterS aka NYC | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | u9v | 860 | 0.25 | 20 min |
| #2 | waDDy | 784 | 0.24 | 18 min |
| #3 | violence. | 416 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #4 | vision | 312 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #5 | peterS aka NYC | 166 | 0.14 | 5 min |





