








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 740 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 210 matches | ||
| Wingman | 78 matches | ||
| Renown | 53 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5286 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,099 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4101 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3989 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3453 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3556 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,555,327 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 376 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | waDDy | 62% | 149 |
| #2 | sata | 61% | 96 |
| #3 | u9v | 61% | 161 |
| #4 | Dzy | 60% | 48 |
| #5 | lord.potato | 60% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ethan | 56% | 25 |
| #9 | dan | 53% | 86 |
| #10 | violence. | 53% | 236 |
| #11 | LAW | 51% | 101 |
| #12 | Lônlí 死神 | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | u9v | 12 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | waDDy | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | violence. | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | peterS aka NYC | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | LAW | 5 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | u9v | 843 | 0.24 | 20 min |
| #2 | waDDy | 699 | 0.22 | 16 min |
| #3 | Gaston | 410 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | violence. | 380 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #5 | peterS aka NYC | 319 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | waDDy | +2.83 | 82 | 61 |
| #2 | u9v | +2.75 | 94 | 48 |
| #3 | vision | +0.89 | 86 | 61 |
| #4 | sata | +0.56 | 85 | 62 |
| #5 | peterS aka NYC | +0.14 | 87 | 63 |





