








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
777 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,850 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 886 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1003 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 899 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1062 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $460,559 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrSprayNpray | 52% | 73 |
| #2 | Jinxy⛟♿ | 52% | 56 |
| #3 | Branx | 51% | 80 |
| #4 | Angugu | 51% | 124 |
| #5 | MoonMoon | 47% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Jinxy⛟♿ | 52% | 56 |
| #3 | Branx | 51% | 80 |
| #4 | Angugu | 51% | 124 |
| #5 | MoonMoon | 47% | 98 |
| #6 | ℋ︎öṩƬȏŇ⊣︎⊢︎♏ | 33% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jinxy⛟♿ | 10 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | Branx | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | MoonMoon | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | MrSprayNpray | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Angugu | 381 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | MoonMoon | 63 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | MrSprayNpray | 53 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | Branx | 52 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jinxy⛟♿ | 50 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Branx | +2.91 | 56 | 30 |
| #2 | MrSprayNpray | +2.38 | 41 | 27 |
| #3 | Angugu | +1.71 | 57 | 63 |
| #4 | ℋ︎öṩƬȏŇ⊣︎⊢︎♏ | +1.04 | 41 | 59 |
| #5 | MoonMoon | +0.38 | 52 | 33 |





