








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 468 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 146 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1839 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,350 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1768 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2721 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2727 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2134 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $897,536 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daydie | 51% | 170 |
| #2 | L Mouvo | 51% | 95 |
| #3 | Slim the speedy turtle <3 | 50% | 236 |
| #4 | double | 45% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daydie | 51% | 170 |
| #2 | L Mouvo | 51% | 95 |
| #3 | Slim the speedy turtle <3 | 50% | 236 |
| #4 | double | 45% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slim the speedy turtle <3 | 47 | 0.0097 |
| #2 | Daydie | 34 | 0.0096 |
| #3 | double | 12 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | L Mouvo | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slim the speedy turtle <3 | 315 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #2 | double | 174 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Daydie | 135 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | L Mouvo | 84 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slim the speedy turtle <3 | +1.87 | 29 | 66 |
| #2 | Daydie | +0.83 | 25 | 52 |
| #3 | double | -1.10 | 26 | 61 |
| #4 | Atropos | -1.79 | 17 | 59 |
| #5 | L Mouvo | -1.96 | 41 | 45 |





