








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 292 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 171 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1708 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,790 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2128 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2639 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1718 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1305 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $563,643 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slim the speedy turtle <3 | 48% | 186 |
| #2 | Daydie | 46% | 162 |
| #3 | Atropos | 45% | 103 |
| #4 | L Mouvo | 45% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slim the speedy turtle <3 | 48% | 186 |
| #2 | Daydie | 46% | 162 |
| #3 | Atropos | 45% | 103 |
| #4 | L Mouvo | 45% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slim the speedy turtle <3 | 33 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | Daydie | 33 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | Atropos | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | L Mouvo | 4 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slim the speedy turtle <3 | 236 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #2 | Daydie | 120 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #3 | Atropos | 117 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | L Mouvo | 91 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slim the speedy turtle <3 | +1.94 | 32 | 69 |
| #2 | Daydie | +0.88 | 25 | 49 |
| #3 | double | -1.19 | 27 | 58 |
| #4 | L Mouvo | -2.52 | 41 | 46 |
| #5 | Atropos | -3.42 | 13 | 59 |





