








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 642 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 57 matches | ||
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6038 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,191 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4511 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4337 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3917 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3426 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,231,762 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | plat | 61% | 54 |
| #10 | haiasi | 58% | 81 |
| #11 | velxry | 57% | 37 |
| #12 | Chipss | 45% | 120 |
| #13 | fugwicha | 41% | 367 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slime | 31 | 0.0156 |
| #2 | man i love fishing | 24 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | fugwicha | 23 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Pandah | 9 | 0.0126 |
| #5 | haiasi | 5 | 0.0032 |





