








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 184 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1529 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,675 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2116 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1668 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1014 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 877 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $385,104 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dingle<3 | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | McStuffins | 50% | 44 |
| #3 | N4cho | 47% | 75 |
| #4 | Hjorth | 45% | 88 |
| #5 | Th3agx | 42% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Th3agx | 42% | 100 |
| #6 | THEO | 42% | 36 |
| #7 | K4ffe | 41% | 32 |
| #8 | LassePhar | 37% | 19 |
| #9 | Flamingod | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hjorth | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | N4cho | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Th3agx | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | McStuffins | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | K4ffe | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Th3agx | 272 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | N4cho | 267 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #3 | Hjorth | 134 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | K4ffe | 79 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | THEO | 68 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hjorth | +2.81 | 56 | 69 |
| #2 | Slantingjoe | +2.46 | 66 | 71 |
| #3 | K4ffe | +0.24 | 70 | 62 |
| #4 | Dingle<3 | -0.66 | 34 | 54 |
| #5 | N4cho | -0.67 | 62 | 71 |





