








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 3 different maps



Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
118 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 115 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 24 | 21% |
| Smokes | 33 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 52 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 6 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $36,400 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Excel 擅长 | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | CoiNz | 83% | 6 |
| #3 | Anus Whistle | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | arbisocks | 67% | 12 |
| #5 | xXJennyXx | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Excel 擅长 | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | CoiNz | 83% | 6 |
| #3 | Anus Whistle | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | arbisocks | 67% | 12 |
| #5 | xXJennyXx | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arbisocks | 1 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arbisocks | 46 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #2 | Excel 擅长 | 26 | 0.24 | 0 min |
| #3 | CoiNz | 21 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | xXJennyXx | 20 | 0.26 | 0 min |
| #5 | Anus Whistle | 8 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CoiNz | +5.07 | 78 | 67 |
| #2 | xXJennyXx | +2.40 | 76 | 62 |
| #3 | Excel 擅长 | +1.86 | 55 | 66 |
| #4 | Sally Bollywood | +1.43 | 74 | 36 |
| #5 | arbisocks | +0.16 | 80 | 69 |





