








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 82 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1072 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,874 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1003 | 26% |
| Smokes | 886 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1036 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 949 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $349,694 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kesaesa | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | keks | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | SUS1 | 69% | 55 |
| #4 | El_Jutku | 68% | 25 |
| #5 | Pheb | 67% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | khidion | 63% | 8 |
| #8 | ARMADA8D | 63% | 48 |
| #9 | jöpsykkä | 62% | 47 |
| #10 | Varpe | 62% | 13 |
| #11 | azgah | 56% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jöpsykkä | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | keks | 2 | 0.0115 |
| #3 | willey- | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | SUS1 | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | El_Jutku | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SUS1 | 246 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #2 | jöpsykkä | 193 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | willey- | 188 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | ARMADA8D | 109 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Pheb | 73 | 0.33 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jöpsykkä | +2.64 | 93 | 77 |
| #2 | ARMADA8D | +1.89 | 91 | 58 |
| #3 | Niksu | +1.32 | 77 | 66 |
| #4 | keks | +0.91 | 56 | 70 |
| #5 | khidion | +0.48 | 46 | 59 |





