








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1012 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 197 matches | ||
| Premier | 179 matches | ||
| Faceit | 172 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 102 matches | ||
| Wingman | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 110 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




83 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5938 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,608 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7284 | 24% |
| Smokes | 7100 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 9387 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 6837 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,706,378 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2565 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jöpsykkä | 70% | 67 |
| #2 | SUS1 | 63% | 101 |
| #3 | willey- | 63% | 100 |
| #4 | Varpe | 58% | 190 |
| #5 | Ned | 57% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | kesaesa | 57% | 99 |
| #8 | azgah | 55% | 157 |
| #9 | Ygritte | 54% | 112 |
| #10 | mmakezu | 51% | 49 |
| #11 | ratface | 46% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | azgah | 10 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Ygritte | 8 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Varpe | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | kesaesa | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | ratface | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Varpe | 728 | 0.18 | 20 min |
| #2 | azgah | 570 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #3 | SUS1 | 500 | 0.23 | 14 min |
| #4 | Ygritte | 405 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #5 | kesaesa | 390 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jöpsykkä | +5.12 | 93 | 82 |
| #2 | SUS1 | +0.89 | 79 | 79 |
| #3 | ratface | +0.76 | 63 | 75 |
| #4 | El_Jutku | +0.75 | 67 | 77 |
| #5 | Varpe | +0.55 | 76 | 66 |





