








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1438 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 399 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Esplay | 7 matches | 1,943 | |
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 110 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6050 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,679 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4740 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3968 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4519 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3452 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,564,917 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 235 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vertikarlo | 66% | 29 |
| #2 | fredso Gaudreau | 55% | 116 |
| #3 | Smalheten | 52% | 197 |
| #4 | flawsum | 50% | 209 |
| #5 | skefN | 50% | 212 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕭𝖊𝖊𝖋𝖞 | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Johnny2Time | 6 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Smalheten | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | perssah | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | fredso Gaudreau | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skefN | 1254 | 0.27 | 43 min |
| #2 | 𝕭𝖊𝖊𝖋𝖞 | 788 | 0.16 | 22 min |
| #3 | flawsum | 614 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #4 | Smalheten | 489 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #5 | perssah | 436 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | painiac | +3.39 | 90 | 69 |
| #2 | Johnny2Time | +1.59 | 81 | 64 |
| #3 | flawsum | +1.36 | 71 | 75 |
| #4 | vertikarlo | +0.76 | 64 | 55 |
| #5 | KvackiS | +0.60 | 81 | 77 |





