








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 66 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1465 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,186 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1877 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1703 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1903 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1703 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $220,708 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | impi | 80% | 15 |
| #2 | pan1c | 75% | 12 |
| #3 | toni | 63% | 24 |
| #4 | ワオ EMJ | 63% | 80 |
| #5 | wint9r | 59% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | pan1c | 75% | 12 |
| #3 | toni | 63% | 24 |
| #4 | ワオ EMJ | 63% | 80 |
| #5 | wint9r | 59% | 58 |
| #6 | ricK | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ワオ EMJ | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | wint9r | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | toni | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | pan1c | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wint9r | 380 | 0.32 | 9 min |
| #2 | ワオ EMJ | 274 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | toni | 68 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | impi | 52 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | pan1c | 38 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ワオ EMJ | +3.71 | 89 | 71 |
| #2 | impi | +2.06 | 88 | 77 |
| #3 | wint9r | +0.80 | 80 | 59 |
| #4 | YoloSlaw | +0.06 | 63 | 68 |
| #5 | pan1c | -0.03 | 59 | 53 |





