








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1266 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,411 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 935 | 27% |
| Smokes | 853 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 867 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 756 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $423,898 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crow | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | Mark™ | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | Antman | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | Caspur | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | sRx_ELiTe | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -d̷j̷ǫ̵f̷u̶l̶l̴- | 6 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | SayLess | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | jinxツ | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | hoods | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SayLess | 174 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | -d̷j̷ǫ̵f̷u̶l̶l̴- | 153 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | jinxツ | 87 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Mark™ | 54 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Caspur | 36 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crow | +6.10 | 94 | 65 |
| #2 | Mark™ | +2.97 | 82 | 58 |
| #3 | SayLess | +1.61 | 72 | 75 |
| #4 | jinxツ | +0.58 | 75 | 68 |
| #5 | hoods | +0.44 | 66 | 48 |





