








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Esplay | 3 matches | 2,278 |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
277 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 738 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 175 | 24% |
| Smokes | 198 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 145 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 220 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $56,892 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qzr lft | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Shero | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | うらぎり | 75% | 4 |
| #4 | moen | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | Strope | 67% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | thomassen | 50% | 8 |
| #11 | ZapR | 44% | 9 |
| #12 | zamee | 44% | 9 |
| #13 | Brave ツ | 43% | 7 |
| #14 | Vearr | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AuNe | 3 | 0.0316 |
| #2 | Strope | 2 | 0.0260 |
| #3 | うらぎり | 2 | 0.0267 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zamee | 68 | 0.38 | 2 min |
| #2 | ZapR | 68 | 0.38 | 2 min |
| #3 | thomassen | 28 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | Shero | 19 | 0.25 | 0 min |
| #5 | Brave ツ | 15 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | うらぎり | +3.09 | 80 | 55 |
| #2 | AuNe | +2.21 | 64 | 75 |
| #3 | hagmeister | +2.10 | 94 | 68 |
| #4 | thomassen | +0.96 | 85 | 62 |
| #5 | Brave ツ | +0.38 | 83 | 70 |





