








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
810 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,430 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1089 | 32% |
| Smokes | 391 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 1025 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 925 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $293,166 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Handumari | 89% | 9 |
| #2 | ∮F·ndS=∬∇·FdV | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | 깜놀햄찌 | 70% | 40 |
| #4 | 지금을 살아가다 | 63% | 16 |
| #5 | 1등을위해서라면갓난아기와도진심으로싸운다 | 58% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | rahuy | 50% | 14 |
| #11 | ✿𝑯𝒂𝒏𝒂 | 47% | 38 |
| #12 | NiFT666 | 46% | 54 |
| #13 | OPIUM* | 43% | 7 |
| #14 | Show And Prove Pls | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pocat | 5 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | ✿𝑯𝒂𝒏𝒂 | 4 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | 1nternet0verdose | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | 1등을위해서라면갓난아기와도진심으로싸운다 | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | rahuy | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1nternet0verdose | 300 | 0.28 | 8 min |
| #2 | ✿𝑯𝒂𝒏𝒂 | 210 | 0.30 | 5 min |
| #3 | NiFT666 | 166 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | Pocat | 163 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | 깜놀햄찌 | 94 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 지금을 살아가다 | +4.93 | 87 | 73 |
| #2 | 깜놀햄찌 | +3.67 | 76 | 58 |
| #3 | Handumari | +3.29 | 54 | 52 |
| #4 | NiFT666 | +3.07 | 88 | 75 |
| #5 | Pocat | +2.80 | 78 | 71 |





