








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 731 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 249 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 72 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5491 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,299 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3320 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5450 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4484 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3045 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $852,048 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1127 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $N2 Sergeant Señor Semen | 58% | 101 |
| #2 | PAD ON PCP IN 240p | 58% | 45 |
| #3 | Vagonica Brown | 54% | 134 |
| #4 | Johannes "puffy" Deagle | 53% | 176 |
| #5 | Percocet Rodgers | 53% | 197 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | PAD ON PCP IN 240p | 58% | 45 |
| #3 | Vagonica Brown | 54% | 134 |
| #4 | Johannes "puffy" Deagle | 53% | 176 |
| #5 | Percocet Rodgers | 53% | 197 |
| #6 | Sandboards finna pop flash | 51% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johannes "puffy" Deagle | 41 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | Vagonica Brown | 15 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | $N2 Sergeant Señor Semen | 15 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | Percocet Rodgers | 13 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Sandboards finna pop flash | 6 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Percocet Rodgers | 315 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #2 | Johannes "puffy" Deagle | 214 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | $N2 Sergeant Señor Semen | 193 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | Sandboards finna pop flash | 182 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Vagonica Brown | 169 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ser.e.fim | +3.49 | 66 | 62 |
| #2 | Sandboards finna pop flash | +0.79 | 64 | 57 |
| #3 | $N2 Sergeant Señor Semen | +0.77 | 37 | 58 |
| #4 | Percocet Rodgers | -0.41 | 49 | 65 |
| #5 | PAD ON PCP IN 240p | -1.34 | 53 | 42 |





