








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 559 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 179 matches | ||
| Esplay | 120 matches | 1,498 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2423 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,155 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4586 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2125 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 3794 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2650 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,502,956 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GTR ♔ ♕ ♚ ♛ ✌ | 50% | 270 |
| #2 | cobretti | 47% | 34 |
| #3 | Fnizzan | 47% | 226 |
| #4 | finkel | 47% | 246 |
| #5 | CarlFisk | 46% | 162 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GTR ♔ ♕ ♚ ♛ ✌ | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | finkel | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Toa1337stolen | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | CarlFisk | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | ButWhy?! | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GTR ♔ ♕ ♚ ♛ ✌ | 647 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #2 | ☁ SteveSTARFIGHTER ☁ | 463 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #3 | finkel | 299 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #4 | Fnizzan | 150 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #5 | CarlFisk | 107 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GTR ♔ ♕ ♚ ♛ ✌ | +3.72 | 80 | 70 |
| #2 | Fnizzan | +1.93 | 42 | 60 |
| #3 | finkel | +0.82 | 67 | 64 |
| #4 | ☁ SteveSTARFIGHTER ☁ | -0.83 | 37 | 52 |
| #5 | CarlFisk | -0.94 | 23 | 48 |





