








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 84 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1265 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,405 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 475 | 20% |
| Smokes | 704 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 926 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 300 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $345,805 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chrae | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | Nat | 54% | 74 |
| #3 | Somewhat | 52% | 58 |
| #4 | skeltal (milk man) | 46% | 54 |
| #5 | Morbrak | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Sazuke | 40% | 10 |
| #9 | Erky | 40% | 53 |
| #10 | Bowris | 38% | 16 |
| #11 | mion | 37% | 81 |
| #12 | Wuts kraken | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nat | 9 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Jakeomonk | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | skeltal (milk man) | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Somewhat | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Chrae | 2 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nat | 263 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | Somewhat | 227 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | Jakeomonk | 200 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Morbrak | 115 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | Chrae | 105 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jakeomonk | +4.81 | 89 | 42 |
| #2 | Chrae | +3.92 | 56 | 58 |
| #3 | Somewhat | +3.29 | 72 | 76 |
| #4 | skeltal (milk man) | +1.94 | 77 | 47 |
| #5 | Nat | +0.90 | 63 | 73 |





