








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 657 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 75 matches | ||
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5261 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,699 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5470 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4931 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4617 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3681 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,560,704 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 134 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OhDeMills | 63% | 35 |
| #2 | Somewhat | 57% | 326 |
| #3 | Duck C Daddy | 57% | 65 |
| #4 | skeltal (milk man) | 56% | 358 |
| #5 | m_fx | 54% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Erky | 51% | 178 |
| #11 | Wuts kraken | 49% | 69 |
| #12 | Bowris | 46% | 28 |
| #13 | MaestrosCigar | 46% | 128 |
| #14 | mion | 46% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skeltal (milk man) | 27 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | MaestrosCigar | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Somewhat | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Chrae | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Morbrak | 6 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Somewhat | 1101 | 0.17 | 35 min |
| #2 | Chrae | 820 | 0.21 | 17 min |
| #3 | Morbrak | 515 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #4 | skeltal (milk man) | 444 | 0.06 | 11 min |
| #5 | MaestrosCigar | 316 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Somewhat | +2.94 | 68 | 76 |
| #2 | Jakeomonk | +2.90 | 84 | 45 |
| #3 | Chrae | +1.68 | 59 | 58 |
| #4 | Nat | +1.29 | 67 | 72 |
| #5 | m_fx | +1.01 | 86 | 66 |





