








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 30 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1729 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,761 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1623 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1402 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1301 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1435 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,231,860 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Somewhat | 57% | 89 |
| #2 | Nat | 51% | 178 |
| #3 | Wuts kraken | 48% | 67 |
| #4 | skeltal (milk man) | 45% | 164 |
| #5 | Chrae | 41% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Morbrak | 39% | 155 |
| #8 | MaestrosCigar | 39% | 77 |
| #9 | Jakeomonk | 38% | 133 |
| #10 | Bowris | 38% | 16 |
| #11 | mion | 36% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nat | 18 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | skeltal (milk man) | 14 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Chrae | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Jakeomonk | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Morbrak | 5 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nat | 615 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #2 | Chrae | 544 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #3 | Morbrak | 510 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #4 | Jakeomonk | 333 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | skeltal (milk man) | 325 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jakeomonk | +4.42 | 86 | 44 |
| #2 | Somewhat | +4.20 | 71 | 77 |
| #3 | Chrae | +2.41 | 64 | 57 |
| #4 | Nat | +1.67 | 67 | 71 |
| #5 | skeltal (milk man) | +1.43 | 75 | 44 |





