








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 369 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 102 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1280 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,499 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2276 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1460 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1356 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1407 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $412,331 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 121 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Punica | 61% | 112 |
| #2 | Resh | 61% | 94 |
| #3 | nico^ | 60% | 43 |
| #4 | MaSuKa | 58% | 106 |
| #5 | Noname | 57% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | nico^ | 60% | 43 |
| #4 | MaSuKa | 58% | 106 |
| #5 | Noname | 57% | 21 |
| #6 | fl0w | 56% | 16 |
| #7 | Mr. Sicherheit | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Punica | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #2 | nico^ | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Punica | 744 | 0.30 | 23 min |
| #2 | MaSuKa | 285 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | Resh | 254 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | nico^ | 53 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | fl0w | 45 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Punica | +3.51 | 83 | 82 |
| #2 | 616 | +2.07 | 76 | 73 |
| #3 | MaSuKa | -0.68 | 55 | 72 |
| #4 | nico^ | -0.73 | 52 | 62 |
| #5 | Mr. Sicherheit | -0.76 | 29 | 28 |





