








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 319 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1202 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,228 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2134 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2314 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2094 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 686 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $265,223 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 950 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slammer | 64% | 36 |
| #2 | Twisted | 61% | 49 |
| #3 | .Ernie` | 57% | 35 |
| #4 | grullet 2.0 | 55% | 75 |
| #5 | scully | 51% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scully | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Twisted | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | grullet 2.0 | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | conzz. | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | .Ernie` | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scully | 681 | 0.34 | 20 min |
| #2 | Twisted | 126 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | .Ernie` | 104 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | grullet 2.0 | 87 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Slammer | 81 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | conzz. | +2.02 | 67 | 42 |
| #2 | Twisted | +1.64 | 59 | 56 |
| #3 | Azureks | +1.39 | 76 | 50 |
| #4 | Apps in | +1.11 | 57 | 60 |
| #5 | IOExceptional | +0.33 | 59 | 69 |





