








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 133 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2323 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,653 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2345 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2551 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1893 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1864 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $887,868 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 226 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Celery | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | skade | 59% | 39 |
| #3 | Headshot | 58% | 59 |
| #4 | udntwo | 55% | 22 |
| #5 | Kare (Bear) | 50% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | udntwo | 55% | 22 |
| #5 | Kare (Bear) | 50% | 24 |
| #6 | Cephh | 44% | 59 |
| #7 | John McAfee | 44% | 50 |
| #8 | snowfox1400 | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Headshot | 7 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | John McAfee | 6 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | skade | 5 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | udntwo | 4 | 0.0083 |
| #5 | Cephh | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Headshot | 283 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #2 | John McAfee | 182 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | Cephh | 167 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | skade | 100 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Kare (Bear) | 59 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | udntwo | +2.20 | 73 | 49 |
| #2 | skade | +1.40 | 61 | 52 |
| #3 | Celery | +1.29 | 54 | 50 |
| #4 | John McAfee | +0.84 | 56 | 64 |
| #5 | Sezn | +0.32 | 76 | 68 |





