








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 384 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 266 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4667 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,323 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 751 | 7% |
| Smokes | 2261 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 5118 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 3193 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,190,152 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2071 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John McAfee | 55% | 40 |
| #2 | G2 apocalypse | 53% | 34 |
| #3 | skade | 50% | 58 |
| #4 | Kare (Bear) | 48% | 96 |
| #5 | Cephh | 42% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | G2 apocalypse | 53% | 34 |
| #3 | skade | 50% | 58 |
| #4 | Kare (Bear) | 48% | 96 |
| #5 | Cephh | 42% | 73 |
| #6 | Headshot | 42% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Headshot | 6 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | John McAfee | 6 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | Cephh | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | skade | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | G2 apocalypse | 3 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Headshot | 345 | 0.26 | 10 min |
| #2 | Kare (Bear) | 245 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | Cephh | 169 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | skade | 145 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | John McAfee | 134 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | udntwo | +1.24 | 72 | 42 |
| #2 | skade | +0.09 | 57 | 50 |
| #3 | John McAfee | -0.11 | 59 | 56 |
| #4 | G2 apocalypse | -0.20 | 53 | 42 |
| #5 | Kare (Bear) | -0.49 | 51 | 64 |





