








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 583 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3753 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,875 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5154 | 22% |
| Smokes | 7975 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4253 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 6493 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $730,920 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 256 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nuke bottom frag | 56% | 72 |
| #2 | skade | 53% | 126 |
| #3 | G2 apocalypse | 53% | 85 |
| #4 | Greedo | 53% | 53 |
| #5 | Celery | 52% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | John McAfee | 50% | 36 |
| #7 | Cru0 | 50% | 68 |
| #8 | udntwo | 48% | 96 |
| #9 | Cephh | 46% | 35 |
| #10 | Headshot | 44% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | udntwo | 18 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | Headshot | 10 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | skade | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | nuke bottom frag | 7 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | G2 apocalypse | 5 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cru0 | 299 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #2 | skade | 270 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | Headshot | 269 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #4 | nuke bottom frag | 196 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | John McAfee | 118 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | udntwo | +2.58 | 73 | 41 |
| #2 | John McAfee | +1.07 | 72 | 60 |
| #3 | skade | +1.04 | 51 | 48 |
| #4 | nuke bottom frag | +0.66 | 66 | 53 |
| #5 | Celery | -0.17 | 69 | 38 |





