










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 283 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 79 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3502 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,403 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4068 | 39% |
| Smokes | 2843 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1435 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2057 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $272,111 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 179 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | M0nesy | 75% | 28 |
| #9 | differNz | 69% | 13 |
| #10 | ams | 66% | 35 |
| #11 | Nertz | 65% | 49 |
| #12 | mariekex1 | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xKacpersky | 5 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | Giorno Giovanna | 5 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | spray | 4 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | malbsMd~ | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | b1t | 2 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spray | 196 | 0.28 | 5 min |
| #2 | ams | 188 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #3 | Nertz | 154 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | aSd | 145 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #5 | Giorno Giovanna | 137 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeavyGod | +4.61 | 86 | 73 |
| #2 | M0nesy | +4.37 | 98 | 73 |
| #3 | malbsMd~ | +3.74 | 92 | 70 |
| #4 | b1t | +3.41 | 93 | 66 |
| #5 | aSd | +3.29 | 91 | 82 |





