








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 215 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 97 matches | ||
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2796 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,520 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2896 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2335 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2513 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1776 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,126,625 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 353 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | powerseN | 80% | 15 |
| #2 | optic | 70% | 23 |
| #3 | Floxiv | 65% | 55 |
| #4 | Toräiñz | 60% | 83 |
| #5 | ✪ jan0393 | 58% | 129 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Toräiñz | 60% | 83 |
| #5 | ✪ jan0393 | 58% | 129 |
| #6 | nIcO.de | 50% | 16 |
| #7 | lucjjツ | 48% | 23 |
| #8 | jar | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ jan0393 | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Toräiñz | 8 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Floxiv | 6 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | optic | 2 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | powerseN | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toräiñz | 353 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #2 | ✪ jan0393 | 311 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | Floxiv | 124 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | powerseN | 75 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #5 | jar | 69 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jar | +2.82 | 85 | 59 |
| #2 | powerseN | +1.66 | 77 | 82 |
| #3 | lucjjツ | +1.51 | 82 | 71 |
| #4 | Toräiñz | +1.41 | 71 | 70 |
| #5 | ✪ jan0393 | +1.10 | 68 | 71 |





