








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 270 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2710 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,784 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2652 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2030 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2117 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1985 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $453,563 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 442 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pphantom | 59% | 29 |
| #2 | lucjjツ | 54% | 91 |
| #3 | fs | 51% | 115 |
| #4 | TrippiN | 50% | 16 |
| #5 | Gopnigg | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | TrippiN | 50% | 16 |
| #5 | Gopnigg | 50% | 26 |
| #6 | TilmaN | 47% | 17 |
| #7 | Adapa | 40% | 15 |
| #8 | Traube Minze | 34% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fs | 27 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | lucjjツ | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Gopnigg | 5 | 0.0095 |
| #4 | TrippiN | 3 | 0.0091 |
| #5 | pphantom | 2 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fs | 369 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | lucjjツ | 287 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #3 | Gopnigg | 98 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | Traube Minze | 96 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | TrippiN | 68 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lucjjツ | +1.78 | 86 | 61 |
| #2 | jar | +1.72 | 81 | 61 |
| #3 | Gopnigg | +1.00 | 67 | 68 |
| #4 | pphantom | -0.51 | 79 | 42 |
| #5 | fs | -0.61 | 73 | 52 |





