








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 978 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 241 matches | ||
| Faceit | 146 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5242 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,659 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3889 | 16% |
| Smokes | 8163 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 6786 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5821 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,675,810 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 975 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | emildko | 54% | 134 |
| #5 | Big Stalls | 53% | 576 |
| #6 | Frodo1839 | 53% | 235 |
| #7 | UMPetri | 50% | 117 |
| #8 | Shrek | 43% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Stalls | 18 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Shrek | 10 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Frodo1839 | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Zinq | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | emildko | 6 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Stalls | 1712 | 0.14 | 48 min |
| #2 | Zinq | 437 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #3 | Shrek | 426 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #4 | emildko | 324 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #5 | Frodo1839 | 300 | 0.06 | 7 min |





