








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 159 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Faceit | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3168 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,571 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1797 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1265 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1715 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1794 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,553,657 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 102 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Big Stalls | 55% | 339 |
| #4 | GooseMan | 53% | 235 |
| #5 | UMPetri | 50% | 123 |
| #6 | Zinq | 50% | 30 |
| #7 | Shrek | 47% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Stalls | 1005 | 0.14 | 29 min |
| #2 | GooseMan | 322 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #3 | Shrek | 279 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | emildko | 258 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #5 | UMPetri | 165 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Stalls | +2.61 | 62 | 77 |
| #2 | Zinq | +1.76 | 80 | 77 |
| #3 | Frodo1839 | +0.68 | 79 | 49 |
| #4 | GooseMan | +0.47 | 49 | 65 |
| #5 | emildko | +0.22 | 73 | 54 |





