








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 247 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 228 matches | ||
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 98 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5142 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,123 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5692 | 38% |
| Smokes | 2330 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 4516 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2585 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,370,760 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 232 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Angry man | 37 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | MehdIMAX | 28 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Knivar | 16 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | tD FeaR | 9 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | Noksu | 8 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MehdIMAX | 878 | 0.15 | 22 min |
| #2 | Angry man | 304 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #3 | sosa | 243 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | Knivar | 242 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Noksu | 240 | 0.10 | 5 min |





