








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 142 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 259 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2545 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,720 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1184 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1828 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3045 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2663 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,070,639 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Corda | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | masqutti | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | mauxム | 54% | 35 |
| #4 | Vallu | 53% | 75 |
| #5 | snibba | 52% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snibba | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | DialG | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | bikermicefrommars | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Vallu | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Jussi | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snibba | 393 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #2 | DialG | 195 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #3 | Kuikka- | 178 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | bikermicefrommars | 123 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Vallu | 110 | 0.07 | 3 min |





