








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 911 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 636 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6828 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,096 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5038 | 19% |
| Smokes | 6571 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 7674 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 6813 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,931,605 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3648 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mauxム | 63% | 41 |
| #2 | masqutti | 61% | 109 |
| #3 | snibba | 54% | 137 |
| #4 | bikermicefrommars | 50% | 206 |
| #5 | Hoxy | 47% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bikermicefrommars | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | snibba | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | masqutti | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Corda | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Hoxy | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snibba | 413 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | bikermicefrommars | 259 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | masqutti | 197 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | Kuikka- | 196 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | Hoxy | 187 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snibba | +2.98 | 79 | 74 |
| #2 | DialG | +0.44 | 60 | 70 |
| #3 | bikermicefrommars | +0.06 | 65 | 61 |
| #4 | masqutti | -0.13 | 43 | 62 |
| #5 | Kuikka- | -0.63 | 57 | 63 |





