








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 85 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1198 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,876 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1331 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1395 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 961 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1189 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $327,439 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gamer | 81% | 26 |
| #2 | Pedro | 59% | 76 |
| #3 | ︻デ 一 Hamood | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | MiniBuckeroo | 51% | 35 |
| #5 | Crispy | 49% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crispy | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Pedro | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | MiniBuckeroo | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | ︻デ 一 Hamood | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crispy | 98 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #2 | BustaNut97 | 67 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Pedro | 66 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | 작은공주 | 29 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | ︻デ 一 Hamood | 20 | 0.04 | 0 min |





