








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 30 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1016 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,608 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 357 | 22% |
| Smokes | 269 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 807 | 50% |
| Molotovs | 175 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $121,924 of utility $42 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gamer | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | Pedro | 45% | 85 |
| #3 | benjo | 44% | 50 |
| #4 | MiniBuckeroo | 44% | 55 |
| #5 | Crispy | 43% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crispy | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Pedro | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | BustaNut97 | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | benjo | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Gamer | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | benjo | 173 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | Crispy | 122 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #3 | BustaNut97 | 103 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Pedro | 93 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | MiniBuckeroo | 51 | 0.05 | 1 min |





