








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 150 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3273 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,788 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1384 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1973 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1634 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 797 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,141,826 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 240 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sp00ky VGrizzler | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | Gamer | 64% | 36 |
| #3 | Santa Pablo | 59% | 101 |
| #4 | benjo | 59% | 76 |
| #5 | Rine | 57% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Crispy | 46% | 197 |
| #10 | BustaNut97 | 46% | 68 |
| #11 | 작은공주 | 45% | 85 |
| #12 | MiniBuckeroo | 42% | 96 |
| #13 | ︻デ 一 Hamood | 38% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Santa Pablo | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Ca[N]ty | 7 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | Crispy | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | MiniBuckeroo | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | ididit99 | 4 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | benjo | 237 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | Santa Pablo | 180 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | Crispy | 147 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | ididit99 | 140 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | BustaNut97 | 131 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Santa Pablo | +6.32 | 72 | 64 |
| #2 | benjo | +3.97 | 81 | 65 |
| #3 | Sp00ky VGrizzler | +1.35 | 66 | 57 |
| #4 | Pedro | +0.93 | 41 | 55 |
| #5 | Crispy | +0.33 | 64 | 55 |





