








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 253 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Renown | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1577 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,151 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2003 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1583 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 998 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1567 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $655,371 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 794 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Derz | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Flipzy | 58% | 24 |
| #3 | Piesso | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | Micko | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | Bengen[gH] | 50% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | fredyey | 48% | 29 |
| #8 | Ness | 47% | 17 |
| #9 | SVENN POPPE <3 | 45% | 11 |
| #10 | LogııC- | 44% | 16 |
| #11 | jjj | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bengen[gH] | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | xhich | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Micko | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Flipzy | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Ness | 2 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xhich | 372 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #2 | Bengen[gH] | 222 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | Micko | 102 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | Ness | 55 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | jjj | 50 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fredyey | +2.92 | 82 | 65 |
| #2 | Flipzy | +2.33 | 81 | 63 |
| #3 | xhich | +0.69 | 77 | 76 |
| #4 | LogııC- | +0.68 | 79 | 69 |
| #5 | Derz | +0.61 | 50 | 74 |





