








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 817 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 433 matches | ||
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6151 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,160 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4240 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4155 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5400 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4365 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,680,025 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 479 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | teisemann | 60% | 121 |
| #2 | Gita | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | Micko | 56% | 75 |
| #4 | Dalen | 55% | 84 |
| #5 | xhich | 51% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Micko | 56% | 75 |
| #4 | Dalen | 55% | 84 |
| #5 | xhich | 51% | 139 |
| #6 | Bengen[gH] | 50% | 84 |
| #7 | SVENN POPPE <3 | 46% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xhich | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Dalen | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Micko | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | teisemann | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Bengen[gH] | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xhich | 663 | 0.23 | 18 min |
| #2 | teisemann | 405 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | Micko | 220 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | Dalen | 214 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | Bengen[gH] | 214 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dalen | +1.80 | 82 | 70 |
| #2 | Flipzy | +1.15 | 78 | 60 |
| #3 | Micko | +1.15 | 78 | 69 |
| #4 | xhich | +0.34 | 74 | 74 |
| #5 | teisemann | -0.40 | 40 | 71 |





