








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 262 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 189 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2255 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,644 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2610 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2716 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2153 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2165 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $885,575 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 237 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | SVENN POPPE <3 | 53% | 77 |
| #11 | Bengen[gH] | 51% | 67 |
| #12 | xhich | 43% | 76 |
| #13 | Piesso | 35% | 23 |
| #14 | fredyey | 32% | 28 |





