








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1458 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 444 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 89 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 142 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4064 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,808 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3633 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5460 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3323 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3392 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,840,592 of utility $249 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3684 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | richard fungi | 47% | 245 |
| #2 | kuba | 47% | 101 |
| #3 | ✪Table | 43% | 99 |
| #4 | @@@ | 41% | 100 |
| #5 | doin mediocre | 40% | 163 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | kuba | 47% | 101 |
| #3 | ✪Table | 43% | 99 |
| #4 | @@@ | 41% | 100 |
| #5 | doin mediocre | 40% | 163 |
| #6 | i'm a casual | 40% | 172 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | richard fungi | 33 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | ✪Table | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | i'm a casual | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | kuba | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | doin mediocre | 4 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | richard fungi | 340 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #2 | kuba | 259 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | ✪Table | 224 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | @@@ | 151 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | doin mediocre | 52 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Table | +1.79 | 73 | 60 |
| #2 | kuba | +1.56 | 51 | 58 |
| #3 | 3Hunna | +1.28 | 66 | 60 |
| #4 | @@@ | -0.09 | 60 | 47 |
| #5 | richard fungi | -1.13 | 49 | 53 |





